Setting the story straight
When I posted about what a good cook my wife is, Alydyn made an interesting comment - she said "It's nice to hear a "nice" comment about your wife for a change!" This made me think about what I have said about my wife in prior posts and what kind of an impression I've given people about her, and about me, and by extension, about our relationship and marriage.
First off, I have to say that when Robb first talked me into starting a blog, I had no idea what I would talk about. And I still don't - my posts have no pattern and wander all over the map. But once I got more comfortable posting, I discovered that it was a great way to vent my frustrations, and the very act of describing something that was causing me stress helped relieve that same stress. So in a sense it's been very theraputic, and I've met some truly interesting people along the way. But since my posts are about things that are bothering me, they obviously only represent my thoughts on any given matter. And that would be fine, except that by discussing situations involving people close to me, I've dragged them into the story, and maybe haven't fairly represented them.
In particular, I'm talking about my wife. Since I started this thing to vent about things that were bothering me, I didn't put too much effort into trying to provide a "fair and balanced" (so sue me, Fox!) account of every story, and I realize that I might have painted a less than accurate portrait of my wife. So I'd like to set the record straight.
My wife is a wonderful person - we've known each other for close to 20 years, and we've been married for five. She is a fantastic mother to our two children, and as I mentioned previously, she's a great cook. She's also very creative, and has done an amazing job of designing every room in our home. If I was in charge every room would still be builder's white. And she has a great sense for fashion, so she always makes sure her wardrobe -and mine - are kept stylish.
The point I want to make is that I think my wife is an amazing person who I love deeply, and I don't want to ever give the impression that I think there is anything wrong with her as a person or a mother. The problems that I write about stem solely from problems we have communicating with each other, not from any failing on her part as a person. So if it sounded like I haven't had nice things to say about my wife in the past, let me set the record straight - she's a great person, I think I'm a great person, I'm just not sure that we're great together. So keep that in mind as I vent in the future...
First off, I have to say that when Robb first talked me into starting a blog, I had no idea what I would talk about. And I still don't - my posts have no pattern and wander all over the map. But once I got more comfortable posting, I discovered that it was a great way to vent my frustrations, and the very act of describing something that was causing me stress helped relieve that same stress. So in a sense it's been very theraputic, and I've met some truly interesting people along the way. But since my posts are about things that are bothering me, they obviously only represent my thoughts on any given matter. And that would be fine, except that by discussing situations involving people close to me, I've dragged them into the story, and maybe haven't fairly represented them.
In particular, I'm talking about my wife. Since I started this thing to vent about things that were bothering me, I didn't put too much effort into trying to provide a "fair and balanced" (so sue me, Fox!) account of every story, and I realize that I might have painted a less than accurate portrait of my wife. So I'd like to set the record straight.
My wife is a wonderful person - we've known each other for close to 20 years, and we've been married for five. She is a fantastic mother to our two children, and as I mentioned previously, she's a great cook. She's also very creative, and has done an amazing job of designing every room in our home. If I was in charge every room would still be builder's white. And she has a great sense for fashion, so she always makes sure her wardrobe -and mine - are kept stylish.
The point I want to make is that I think my wife is an amazing person who I love deeply, and I don't want to ever give the impression that I think there is anything wrong with her as a person or a mother. The problems that I write about stem solely from problems we have communicating with each other, not from any failing on her part as a person. So if it sounded like I haven't had nice things to say about my wife in the past, let me set the record straight - she's a great person, I think I'm a great person, I'm just not sure that we're great together. So keep that in mind as I vent in the future...
posted by Nebbitt at
10:08 PM
4 Comments:
You and your wife are great people. I think your blog should be your own place to vent. Do yourself a favor and don't tell her about it. If you want to share something you have written, by all means share it. Copy and paste and print it. This should be your place to be unfiltered with your thoughts. I don't know that letting her know about this blog is a good idea because you never know when she will read it. Chances are it will be at a time when you are not around to discuss how she feels about something you have posted. That, my friend, is bad.
I am already finding myself censoring myself in my blog due to the "mixed audience" I have. Because of that, I have lost that feeling of being able to releive myself of some of those negative feelings.
Remember, if you ever need to talk, I am here. I can't always help you find the answers, but I can listen and offer my very limited wisdom.
Reading between the lines of your posts so far it sounds like you and your wife maybe going through a difficult time right now (been there done that), just know that you can vent on your blog at any time without judgement. There is no need to censor yourself. I find that this blogging audience understands most of life's trials and tribulations and can relate.
I appreciate you keeping it real in your posts and look forward to your future writings. Now go kiss your wife and kids! :)
Your blog is the one place that you have to write your true feelings. You shouldn't be worried about what we think. We know that there are always two sides to every story.
Robb is right, do not let her read it. You don't want her sitting at home building up anger at something that she may have read.
You shouldn't have to censor anything. I have decided that if it happens to me or if I'm feeling it at the time then I'm going to write about it. If someone has a problem with that then I'm truly sorry, but then they may not want to read my blog.
We all need a place to vent. That's why I'm here. I'm so happy that I have found such a wonderful group of people that will listen to me vent and give me encouragement when I need it. We are here to do the same thing for you.
robb, vixen, lilith -
Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. After this post, I feel I can vent freely and if anyone thinks I'm not being fair I'll tell them to go read this post. Plus, I felt I did have to set the story straight about my wife b/c I know Murphy and his Laws, and it is inevitable that smoeday, somewhere, my words will find their way back to all kinds of people who weren't the intended audience. I'm dreading the day my mom e-mails me and says "I wish you wouldn't use the "F" word so much in your posts." The horror, the horror!
But I will fearlessly blog on, knowing there are kindred spirits like you out there who I can share my inner, twisted thoughts with.
And, robb, don't censor yourself - feel free to be the negative, bitter, sarcastic stressed out man I grew up with!! :)
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